THE WIFE
by Tommy Smith
“Excellent … ‘The Wife’ is a brew all Mr. Smith’s own, a sort of warped, contemporary La Ronde.” – NEW YORK TIMES
“Unnerving and intense … what we are watching is a world coughing up on the lines of separation that we have created throughout the years.” – THE BROOKLYN RAIL
“Thrilling … a sad, frightening and often extremely funny drama” – L MAGAZINE
––
RUTH, thirties, Hebrew
GIRLY, twenties, black
NANCE, forties, Australian
JAKOB, thirties, Hebrew
JAKE, thirties, white
DOCTOR, forties, male, black
also plays: VOICE & COP
The city
and
The forest
1.
Jake’s apartment.
JAKE
Did you see that movie? That one that just came out?
RUTH
No.
JAKE
It's a total piece of crap. It was about hipsters and stuff and I was like that's totally not how we are. They made it all different from how we actually live, you know? It just focused on actual human beings and not like all the cool little details about the culture. It’s like I should know, right? I have perspective because I'm part of that culture. Wouldn't that piss you off? If someone was trying to like, represent you or something and they didn't even take the time to get to know what you were all about? Why would someone do that? I mean, there must be a reason, right? You don't just go being ignorant and shit in when you're making this story unless you're trying to prove a point but I didn't really see any point in like, presenting this like false copy of how things really are. There's no point in telling any story unless it’s like a one hundred percent accurate depiction of people because otherwise it’s just offensive. Did you see that movie?
RUTH
No.
JAKE
Yeah, don't go see it.
RUTH
So the job?
JAKE
Here’s his kitty bowl.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
And that’s where his water goes. In that bowl there.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
And I don’t know, feed him every now and then, like twice a day, then keep him company and pet him when he comes up to you. He likes tin foil balls. He’s really skilled at juggling tin foil balls between his paws. And so anyway, do you have any questions?
RUTH
No.
JAKE
I’m leaving Saturday and I’ll be back Tuesday. So that’s tomorrow I’m leaving and three days from today I’ll be back. It’s Friday today.
RUTH
…
JAKE
I’m a graphic designer and I’m appraising a job in Portland, in case you wanted to know that. I don’t just normally tell people something like that. Do you see what I’m saying? I’m not acting special around you.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
You shouldn’t ever let him out because he hides under the staircase and you can’t get him out for anything.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
There’s a spray bottle right here and if he does anything bad give him a quick hard spray. But don’t overdo it. If he gets used to punishment, he’ll have no reason to behave. Are you allergic to cats?
2.
Parked Minivan.
NANCE
No pay me now.
JAKOB
This is all I have.
NANCE
Well I can’t break a hundred.
JAKOB
Hundreds is all I have.
NANCE
I think we passed a mini mart back a ways.
JAKOB
I’m not stopping there.
NANCE
Then consider it My Hefty Tip.
JAKOB
Can I get something else?
NANCE
Sure, I’ll give you a little something.
JAKOB
Then keep the four hundred.
NANCE
Thanks, dad.
JAKOB
Please don’t call me dad.
NANCE
Pass me that bottle.
JAKOB
The gin?
NANCE
No, the brown, the scotch, the fucken scotch bottle there.
JAKOB
Here.
NANCE
Thanks, dad.
Nance swigs from bottle.
NANCE
Nice minivan.
JAKOB
Thank you.
NANCE
Lotsa trees here where are we?
JAKOB
Out of town.
NANCE
Some suburb shitpike.
JAKOB
The Christian people live here.
NANCE
They sure do.
JAKOB
Are you religious?
NANCE
Are you?
She swigs again.
NANCE
You want a go?
JAKOB
No thank you.
NANCE
What, you don’t drink?
JAKOB
No.
NANCE
You’re a real bummer.
JAKOB
I just don’t drink.
NANCE
I’m not drinking. I’m having fun.
She swigs.
NANCE
I think there’s a cigarette butt at the bottom. Did you drop your cigarette in the scotch?
JAKOB
I may have.
NANCE
Why would you do that?
JAKOB
I only half remember doing it.
NANCE
Oh, you’re kind of cute, aren’t you? All bashful. Yeah, I see it now. You’re sort of cute.
JAKOB
Thank you.
NANCE
Getting all red, are we?
JAKOB
Could we … ?
NANCE
Eh? Speak up.
JAKOB
Could we just … ?
NANCE
Ah, you want your little something. No idle chit chat.
JAKOB
I just have places to be.
NANCE
You got a wife?
JAKOB
Yes.
NANCE
She know you smoke?
JAKOB
No.
NANCE
You hide from her.
JAKOB
Yes.
NANCE
What if she found out?
JAKOB
She won’t.
NANCE
But what if she did?
JAKOB
Why?
NANCE
Just picking your brain, mate. See your clock tick.
JAKOB
Do you mind if I smoke?
NANCE
Since you ask, yes, but I never tell a man he’s wrong.
JAKOB
Why not?
NANCE
He knows he’s wrong. You can see it on his face. Guilt hangs on men so there’s really no point in bringing it up because they know what you’re going to say. You did wrong. You’re a man, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Did you like my skirt?
JAKOB
Yes.
NANCE
I bought it from these Indian women on the street. Three dollars.
JAKOB
A bargain.
NANCE
A steal. A catch.
Nance unbuckles his belt.
Zips down the zipper.
NANCE
Teach a girl to fish.
3.
Jakob’s apartment.
JAKOB
Did you go out today?
RUTH
Yes.
JAKOB
What did you do?
RUTH
I went to the store.
JAKOB
What did you buy?
RUTH
Nothing.
JAKOB
You didn’t buy anything?
RUTH
No. I forgot to bring my wallet. I forgot to bring my purse. I didn’t bring anything with me. So I made a list. I looked at everything in the store and I wrote down what we need. Next time I’ll bring everything so I can buy everything.
JAKOB
Did you go anywhere else?
RUTH
How was your day?
JAKOB
They shipped in these new lamps. We don’t have enough space for all these lamps, I kept saying to everybody. And these new lamps, they have the wrong plugs. They have European prongs. And I kept saying to everybody, these prongs don’t work in this country. And finally everyone looked and everyone saw I was right. So we shipped back the lamps. Ruth?
RUTH
Hmn?
JAKOB
Your hair.
RUTH
What?
JAKOB
Your hair’s on crooked.
He adjusts her wig.
JAKOB
You’ve been wearing this crooked all day, haven’t you?
RUTH
It was fine when I left.
JAKOB
It’s all crooked.
RUTH
It was fine.
JAKOB
There.
RUTH
Thank you.
A long pause, then:
JAKOB
That stroller is still here.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKOB
I’ll throw it out in the morning.
4.
Jake’s apartment.
Nance comes in on Ruth.
NANCE
Who are you?
RUTH
I’m watching the cat.
NANCE
I told him I’d catsit God! That little fucking punk. Do you want some raisins?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
I got like a whole box.
RUTH
No thank you.
NANCE
You ever wonder, like, these were once grapes, right? That is totally weird. They should invent like a raisin remaking machine. Like a little metal box you pop in a box of raisins and bam you got like a vine of grapes. Right?
RUTH
…
NANCE
So what do I do?
RUTH
…
NANCE
The cat, dummy. I got to feed it, right?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
Well show me his food, man. Let’s get this show on the road.
RUTH
I’m sorry, you’re …
NANCE
I’m sorta his girlfriend? Sorry, shoulda been clearer. I hate cats so he usually comes over to my place and Jesus this place is clean.
RUTH
I cleaned it.
NANCE
You cleaned his apartment?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
Why did you do that?
RUTH
Because it was dirty.
NANCE
I suppose that makes sense.
RUTH
…
NANCE
You’re a funny little thing, aren’t you? Funny little hobbly thing. Where did he find you?
RUTH
The computer.
NANCE
And he sought you, like sought you out?
RUTH
There was an ad.
NANCE
Are you a drinker? Do you drink?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
I’ve got a bottle of something you could take a swig of.
RUTH
No thank you.
NANCE
Mind if I dirty a glass?
RUTH
No.
She pours a glass.
NANCE
I suppose you could call this five o’clock. I suppose you could say this is too early to be drinking.
She drinks it quickly.
NANCE
Boy. That didn’t feel like much, did it?
She pours another.
She drinks it slowly.
NANCE
Better.
She pours another.
NANCE
I can’t place your accent. Are you French?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
You’re like a hobbly old Jewish thing, aren’t you? Oh, that is so darling, you’re a darling thing, aren’t you? Oh, this is so queer. And that’s a wig, right? They make you wear a wig?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
And you fucking … (whispers) you, like, shave your fucking head?
RUTH
I –
NANCE
Shit, do you have a pad on you? I’m such a bleeder. God, it’s like The Black River down there.
RUTH
…
NANCE
A pad, you know, a tampon.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
You got one?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
You gushing?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
Just in case of emergency, huh? I like that. Prepared at all times. I honestly never do that.
Ruth gives Nance a tampon.
NANCE
We don’t have them like this. They don’t have this outside-y shiv thing you snap off after she’s in place. We just have the white thing, you know, and you just shove it up there with your fingers. I don’t know which I prefer. Thanks.
RUTH
You’re welcome.
NANCE
Show me the cat after I – (makes squishing sound)?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
What’s your name?
RUTH
Ruth.
NANCE
Nice to meet you, Ruth.
5.
Nance’s apartment.
GIRLY
Where you going?
NANCE
Nowhere.
GIRLY
Whatcha putting on make up for, huh?
NANCE
I told you to clean up your room.
GIRLY
Don’t need to clean it. Who do I got to clean it up for, you?
NANCE
You will fucking clean that shit young lady.
GIRLY
Yeah.
NANCE
You will speak in complete sentences young lady.
GIRLY
Yeah, whatever the F, mom.
NANCE
You are bloody asking for it, you’re right on the edge of asking for it and you step across that line and you’ll cross it young missy.
GIRLY
You got anything for a girl to eat?
NANCE
There’s not enough time to make you a meal now.
GIRLY
But I’m hungry.
NANCE
We’re all hungry, I’m hungry, I don’t talk about it, see? I shut up and you should learn from mum.
GIRLY
I don’t want to be no broke ass mom.
NANCE
This is really not helping. This is really not helping me achieve my goals with you.
GIRLY
What, you got goals with me or something? Like, goals?
NANCE
There are these goals, yes, as part of the program.
GIRLY
You ain’t on no program.
NANCE
Mum got a little serious with things mum shouldn’t have got too serious with.
GIRLY
Like, I’m not a little girl or nothing so you don’t need to do that mommy anymore.
NANCE
God, you know, whatever. I need a drink.
GIRLY
I dumped it.
NANCE
What?
GIRLY
I dumped your bottles down the drain.
Nance slaps Girly.
NANCE
You bitch, you fucken cow bitch!
GIRLY
Mom –
Nance slaps Girly again, hard.
NANCE
That was mine, it was mine.
GIRLY
I’m sorry.
NANCE
You’re a little cunt, aren’t you? Just a tiny little cunt of a thing.
GIRLY
I’m sorry, mom.
NANCE
Useless cunty –
Nance screams into her hands.
Keeps hands on face.
A moment, then:
GIRLY
It’s okay.
NANCE
Oh just shut up.
GIRLY
It’s going to be okay, mom.
NANCE
You go pick up your room.
GIRLY
Okay.
NANCE
I’ll be back soon.
Nance starts rolling a smoke.
GIRLY
Where are you going?
NANCE
Adult stuff, I’m doing adult stuff.
GIRLY
You coming back?
NANCE
I’ll come back when I want, okay?
GIRLY
Are we going to fix those noises?
NANCE
Noises, what noises?
GIRLY
There’s a creak in the hallway like someone’s walking down the hallway. But when I look down the hallway no one there. Then I go into the TV room and I hear it again. I’m not upset about it or anything. I just turn up the television real loud. I turn it up very loud and there’s like someone watching it. Someone’s watching television but when I look no one’s there. There’s no one’s there, right? No one is here.
Nance finishes rolling smoke, lights it.
NANCE
No one is here.
Nance leaves.
A deep, disturbing voice:
VOICE
Is she gone?
GIRLY
Yes.
VOICE
You’re alone?
GIRLY
Yes.
VOICE
Let’s see a little dance.
GIRLY
No …
VOICE
Just a little dance.
GIRLY
I’m too shy.
VOICE
You’re not shy you’re beautiful.
GIRLY
Am I beautiful?
VOICE
You’re beautiful.
GIRLY
Just a little dance.
VOICE
Yes …
Girly dances with herself.
Distant music.
VOICE
You should leave with me.
GIRLY
Yeah?
VOICE
Yeah you should come with me.
GIRLY
Okay.
VOICE
Yeah?
GIRLY
Yeah I’ll come with you.
VOICE
Good.
GIRLY
Yeah.
VOICE
This is how it begins.
GIRLY
Yeah. This is how it begins.
6.
Jake’s apartment.
Ruth and Jake sitting across from each other:
JAKE
Is it totally weird that I made you a thank-you dinner?
RUTH
…
JAKE
I think it’s totally weird but here we are, right?
RUTH
…
JAKE
Sorry to just spring this on you.
RUTH
No.
JAKE
You thought you were just coming for money.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
Surprise!
RUTH
But it is never good to waste food.
JAKE
Do you want any wine?
RUTH
No thank you.
JAKE
I have red or white.
RUTH
That is very nice.
JAKE
That is very nice of you to say. You can thank me. If you wanted. You can thank me for dinner.
RUTH
Thank you.
JAKE
Now it’s a thank you dinner.
RUTH
…
JAKE
(mumbles) I’m going to fucking kill myself.
RUTH
These are nice saltshakers.
JAKE
That’s the pepper. The bull’s the salt
RUTH
A bull and a cow.
JAKE
I got them in South France.
RUTH
They are very nice.
Phone rings.
Machine picks up.
Nance’s voice:
NANCE
Jake?
Jakey?
Um ...
Okay .
So you should probably ... call me, right now –
Jake turns volume down.
RUTH
Was that your girlfriend?
JAKE
How do you know about my girlfriend?
RUTH
She helped with the cat.
JAKE
She’s not my girlfriend.
RUTH
Oh.
JAKE
Did you let her in?
RUTH
She had keys.
JAKE
What did she do here?
RUTH
She helped with the cat.
JAKE
Did she take anything?
RUTH
No.
JAKE
She’s a thief and a drug addict whore.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
Don’t let her in.
RUTH
…
JAKE
I mean, she’s not my girlfriend and she steals things and takes lots of drugs.
RUTH
…
JAKE
I’m going away again. Are you free?
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
I’m appraising a job in Sacramento. They have these really nice orange trees there. Should be about a week. I’m not leaving because my girlfriend just called. In case you were wondering. That’s not the reason.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
It was planned. Like, ahead of time.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
Hey, um. Where did you find that knife?
RUTH
What?
JAKE
That knife, that knife in your hand.
RUTH
In the drawer.
JAKE
Those aren’t for, you shouldn’t use those for / they’re not for food.
RUTH
/ Oh, I’m very sorry.
JAKE
No, that’s okay just give it to me.
RUTH
Here.
JAKE
Thank you.
Jake slides knife in inner coat pocket.
JAKE
Family heirloom.
7.
Street.
Nance on cell:
NANCE
Jake?
Jakey?
Um ...
Okay .
So you should probably ... call me, right now ...
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah. Just-
I will say this, I completely understand why you're not doing it.
And I completely exonerate you from any sort of – um strange uh – responsibility to call me.
And by the very nature of me slurring this, I also completely exonerate you from any sort of – uuuh – thing – that might be there.
Hoooo God I am leaving this in complete angst.
Uhhhhh in a state that I don't actually wish to leave this in.
And yet –
Um...
If you were to call me I would … completely reciprocate – um – anything … at this point.
And … more.
So if you were to feel the need to call me in the next … time … or so … then I would be completely receptive.
But also …
I understand if this is … completely inappropriate and completely out of order.
So … uh … in that circumstance, I wish you good night.
And sweet dreams.
And hope that … uhhhhh … some other filly can possibly … fill the void.
And I will not … I will not … say … anything … toward … a … possible, um …
Oh, god.
I'm blathering now, I'm blathering, I'm blathering, um, all right.
I will end this phone call.
And, uh, you will have received probably the strangest, the most dithering, incomplete, uh, voicemail you probably have received in a very long time.
So …
Good night.
Hope you're alone.
8.
Nance’s apartment.
NANCE
I can’t find her.
JAKE
I don’t know why I’m here.
NANCE
She’s gone, I can’t find her.
JAKE
I really don’t know why I’m here.
NANCE
She didn’t come home last night I mean she’s a little girl and she left home she’s like gone.
JAKE
What should I do in response?
NANCE
Help, you’ve got to help like humans help.
JAKE
I’m not anything to you.
NANCE
Ah fuck man, you’re the boy in my life who’s around.
JAKE
I didn’t even know you had a daughter.
NANCE
Yeah, that one guy came in and stuck it up and boom.
JAKE
You never told me.
NANCE
There was a lot, you know, unsaid you and I like volumes.
JAKE
You’ve taken drugs.
NANCE
Wild guesses on target.
JAKE
It is very depressing being around you.
NANCE
All the time with your questioning and your eyes, your questioning eyes. No man, she left, she’s gone, someone took her, someone up and raped her up and she’s a body somewhere and I’ve got to see this thing she’s become, these arms and these dead legs attached to stomach attached to hearts and her mouth all busted up and bloody in a ditch bloated and slick with slime. And I would call the cops but they can’t, they can’t see things like this I’d have to mow all this shit down sweep all this shit out and she’d have to be here or they’d take her, they’ll take her from me and maybe that’s not such a bad thing, right? Maybe she could go and play in the mountains with different people like parents and do you want her because she’s totally yours if that’s the case of you wanting to own her.
JAKE
This is a waste of my time.
NANCE
No don’t go.
JAKE
I got your message.
NANCE
Message, I left a message I did not.
JAKE
Last night.
NANCE
Ah fuck like a field of energy my memory can’t see but it’s there, the field of energy is there.
JAKE
You just wanted an excuse for me to come over.
NANCE
No, Jakey –
JAKE
I already have another girlfriend.
NANCE
That was soon like soon.
JAKE
I want my keys back.
NANCE
What keys?
JAKE
The ones I gave you when we were boyfriend and girlfriend but then later you did that shit for money so now I’m asking my keys back.
NANCE
You mean these keys?
JAKE
Yes.
NANCE
I don’t even remember, you know, getting these from you in the first place like no memory of really ever going out with you.
JAKE
…
NANCE
Here take this metal from my hands.
JAKE
I’m late for my train.
NANCE
Was I like what was I talking about?
JAKE
I’m going to be late for my train.
NANCE
Just then I was talking about something like looking for something.
JAKE
Goodbye.
NANCE
Goodbye.
JAKE
I’m never going to see you again.
9.
Jake’s apartment.
Ruth opens door on Nance.
NANCE
I lost my keys yeah I don’t know where I put them.
RUTH
Hello.
NANCE
Is it okay if I sit?
RUTH
Yes, here.
NANCE
Bashing my head in for days.
RUTH
I’m sorry.
NANCE
I’ll just take a breather.
RUTH
…
NANCE
Life is a fuck. You know?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
Life is a fuck.
RUTH
…
NANCE
I guess I don’t know your name.
RUTH
Ruth. And you’re …
NANCE
Nance.
RUTH
Like Nancy.
NANCE
No no. Nancy does everything perfect. She gets up every morning at seven and makes her bed before flossing her teeth. Do you ever do that? Sit around and think of yourself as another person?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
I think if I thought I was myself all day long I’d go off my head. Like spontaneously combust. You know these people who just blow up? These people who simply explode for no reason. Imagine that, man. You’re enjoying the sun or whatever and boom! You’re this red asterisk on the lawn. I can imagine that. I can imagine that sometimes. How’s the cat?
RUTH
He seems fine.
NANCE
Yeah, he’s a good little mouse, aye? I don’t get the impulse, you know, to own something. Like owning a live creature and caring for it and what the fuck is that?
RUTH
A hairball.
NANCE
Where did that come from?
RUTH
The kitty.
NANCE
Oh, you’re handy, aren’t ya? With your little paper towel.
RUTH
I’m sorry it’s dirty.
NANCE
God, don’t be - this brow, you always got this brow.
RUTH
Do I?
NANCE
This wrinkled thing on your forehead. (bad American accent) “Call them dawgs off, girl.” Gosh, my American’s terrible.
RUTH
I like your accent.
NANCE
Well, get in line.
RUTH
Okay.
NANCE
You want to go make copies?
RUTH
Hmn?
NANCE
Copies of the keys. So I can have one.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
We don’t need to go just yet.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
We can sit around for a while.
RUTH
Okay that would be nice.
NANCE
Why do you keep coming here I mean don’t you have places to be with your husband or anything?
RUTH
I need to make money.
NANCE
Money for what?
RUTH
I am saving up for a journey.
NANCE
What like back to the motherland?
RUTH
I have to go away for a little.
NANCE
Just get out of town?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
How long are you going?
RUTH
I don’t really know.
NANCE
Well if you need a buddy. Like someone to travel with.
RUTH
Yes
NANCE
I can never stay put. I don’t like being in one place for very long. I don’t like being attached to things. Didn’t I see vermouth?
RUTH
In the cupboard.
NANCE
I’m making us some martinis.
RUTH
Oh, no please -
NANCE
You will shut your Jew mouth up little missy because I know how to make some kick ass martinis.
RUTH
I really can’t –
NANCE
You really can’t what?
RUTH
I really can’t do that.
NANCE
Of course you can. And you will. Drink with me. Because I’m lonely. And you’re here. So let’s be lonely and here together. Okay?
RUTH
Okay.
NANCE
There’s the spirit. Go get me some icecubes, will ya?
10.
Lamp store.
JAKE
I’m looking for something a little big.
JAKOB
Mmm hmn.
JAKE
Something not too big.
JAKOB
Did you see the ones in the window?
JAKE
Those are too big.
JAKOB
We’ve got some models in the back too.
JAKE
Yes, I saw them.
JAKOB
And?
JAKE
(shrugs shoulders) Eh.
JAKOB
Feel free to look around.
JAKE
That’s what I’m saying. I’ve been looking around.
JAKOB
A desk lamp?
JAKE
Yes.
JAKOB
Medium sized.
JAKE
On the large side but not big.
JAKOB
We have a catalogue.
JAKE
Yes, wonderful.
JAKOB
We can pre-order.
JAKE
Yeah, let’s see the catalogue.
Jakob hands catalogue to Jake.
Jake thumbs through, during which:
JAKE
I’ve never been in here.
JAKOB
…
JAKE
I live right in the neighborhood, right down the street and I’ve never been in here. Funny, right?
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
Yeah, I thought it was really funny that I’ve never been here either but what are you going to do?
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
Go in and buy some lamps is what I’m doing.
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
You got laws against smiling? Because the way you’re not smiling, there should be laws against it. I’m really just trying to make jokes around you. Diffuse the, you know, iceberg, crack the iceberg right open. Do you see what I’m saying?
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
Do you have other employees?
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
Where are they all at?
JAKOB
They’re on deliveries.
JAKE
Because I thought it would be funny to run this place all by yourself and isn’t there like a lady who works here? About Yay big, straight black hair. I saw her come in last week and thought I’d drop by to ask about if she’s around if she even, does she even work here?
JAKOB
No.
JAKE
She’s just a friend?
JAKOB
She’s my wife.
JAKE
…
JAKOB
Do you want me to get her?
JAKE
No.
JAKOB
I think she may be out.
JAKE
Hey, great.
JAKOB
She’s not here right now.
JAKE
That’s great hey I’ll just come back when she’s here.
JAKOB
Super.
JAKE
Great.
JAKOB
Nice to meet you.
JAKE
Thanks for having me.
JAKOB
Goodbye now.
JAKE
Bye.
11.
Jakob’s apartment.
Ruth and Jakob eating.
JAKOB
A man came by.
RUTH
Hmn?
JAKOB
Earlier today, a man came by.
RUTH
What’s that?
JAKOB
A man came by.
RUTH
Ah.
JAKOB
Did you tell a man to come by?
RUTH
No.
JAKOB
Then who was it?
RUTH
I don’t know. Bread?
Ruth goes to side table.
JAKOB
He didn’t buy anything.
RUTH
I’m sorry.
JAKOB
He didn’t even buy anything.
Ruth returns with bread.
RUTH
Bread.
JAKOB
Thank you.
RUTH
You’re welcome.
JAKOB
Those shoes.
RUTH
Mm?
JAKOB
Those are not your shoes.
RUTH
Oh, I guess I didn’t – There was this woman and our shoes were off. Off together. At the same time we didn’t have our shoes off, I mean, we both had our shoes off.
JAKOB
Where was this?
RUTH
The clinic.
JAKOB
You went to the doctor.
RUTH
I went to the free clinic.
JAKOB
Did you tell me you were going to the free clinic?
RUTH
I must have at some point. I’m sure it came up at some point.
JAKOB
I just don’t remember it coming up.
RUTH
They had us take our shoes off. We took off all our shoes. Both feet. There were these cubby holes where you stick the shoes. I put my shoes in a cubby hole. They gave us these white slippers to wear. At first they were uncomfortable. The slippers. I got used to it. I got used to being uncomfortable. But after the examination I looked in my cubby hole and my shoes were gone. Someone stole them. So I stole someone’s shoes. I stole these shoes from someone. And she probably stole someone else’s shoes. And that person stole someone else. A cycle that never ends. It just keeps going.
JAKOB
Are you finished?
RUTH
What?
JAKOB
Your food.
RUTH
Oh. Yes.
JAKOB
You’re not hungry?
RUTH
No. I don’t seem to have an appetite.
12.
A doctor’s office.
JAKE
What do you mean?
DOCTOR
It’s not curable.
JAKE
But how do I get rid of it?
DOCTOR
You can’t. It’s incurable.
JAKE
Isn’t there medicine I can take?
DOCTOR
No.
JAKE
Surgery, treatment?
DOCTOR
I’m sorry.
JAKE
I want to see another doctor.
DOCTOR
Another doctor will say the same thing.
JAKE
But I didn’t do anything.
DOCTOR
I know.
JAKE
I don’t deserve this because I didn’t do anything I didn’t do anything!
DOCTOR
I have pamphlets here for you.
JAKE
“How to live with Lyme disease”.
DOCTOR
We’ll get you some antibiotics to lessen the effects.
JAKE
Effects, what effects?
DOCTOR
You might experience some rashes or joint pain. Possibly some neurological damage or mild hallucinations. Spinal problems, twitching muscles, fatigue or vision problems and seizures, urinary problems and in some cases schizophrenia.
JAKE
God.
DOCTOR
You’ll be fine.
JAKE
How the fuck did I get Lyme disease?
DOCTOR
Have you been wandering in any forests?
JAKE
No. I mean, what if I have?
DOCTOR
Ticks wait on blades of grass then attach to bare legs.
JAKE
But I didn’t do anything.
DOCTOR
It’s not like that.
JAKE
I was in the forest but I didn’t do anything there, it was very innocent and – I mean, how could that cause this?
DOCTOR
I’m not sure what you’re talking about.
JAKE
That thing I did in the forest caused this, I know it, I know it did, I shouldn’t have done it, I should have just fought the impulse but no I had to go do it and now I have this disease, this fucking disease and I could have stopped it, I could have prevented it if I just stayed out of the Fuck is God punishing me? God is punishing me, I know it, He’s fucking smiting me right now, this is what it looks like, this is what smiting looks like.
DOCTOR
Your prescription.
JAKE
Tha – Thank you.
DOCTOR
You might also want to see a psychiatrist.
JAKE
Yes.
DOCTOR
You can pull your pants up now.
13.
Log Cabin bar.
JAKE
I photo-shopped your face.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
I photo-shopped your face on The Mona Lisa.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
Da Vinci.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
You can keep it.
RUTH
Thank you.
JAKE
You’re welcome.
RUTH
…
JAKE
Thanks for meeting me.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
Cool place, huh?
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
Cool deer heads.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
You like it? They just opened it. “Log cabin theme.” They stained that glass in Kyoto.
RUTH
Your keys.
JAKE
You can stay the night if you want. I mean, you can stay at my place overnight I’m not going to be there. I’m headed Upstate overnight to finish up a little something. A little series of somethings I’ve been working on Upstate. You can stay one more night while I journey Upstate.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
You want another seltzer?
RUTH
I’m fine.
JAKE
Going back home right I mean we can go to another place if you want to.
RUTH
No.
JAKE
I’m like in love with you.
RUTH
I know.
JAKE
You know, I mean: Fuck … It can’t really work like that, me telling you that and no expression crossing your face like I dreamt it would happen this way, exactly this way and now it’s happening and I tell you you’re the only thing keeping me together, I barely know you but I keep thinking you bald, you bare and bald on white sheets and stroking your skull stubble. I keep imagining a time when I’ll be between your legs like a man and caring for your children but that’s never going to happen.
RUTH
No.
JAKE
I have a disease.
RUTH
…
JAKE
I have a disease that I can never not have.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
It’s not contagious.
RUTH
Okay.
JAKE
Unless you’re running in the fucking forest.
RUTH
…
JAKE
…
RUTH
So … ?
JAKE
Your payment.
RUTH
Yes.
JAKE
All I have is fives and ones.
RUTH
That’s fine.
JAKE
I break a lot of twenties.
14.
Streets.
Nance and Girly on cell phones:
NANCE
Yeah.
GIRLY
Hey mom.
NANCE
Yeah, who’s this?
GIRLY
I said hey mom.
NANCE
Whaddya want?
GIRLY
It’s Girly.
NANCE
Where you been Girly?
GIRLY
Just wandered around last night.
NANCE
Where you at oh my daughter?
GIRLY
I’m right near the apartment. Where you?
NANCE
I’m going out to meet a friend I’m on the street.
GIRLY
Oh you have a new friend?
NANCE
It’s not like that.
GIRLY
Well it’s okay I borrow some clothes?
NANCE
Like some of my clothes?
GIRLY
Yeah.
NANCE
You don’t fit in my clothes.
GIRLY
I’m wearing your jeans already.
NANCE
You take them off.
GIRLY
I’m on the street, ma.
NANCE
You strip down in the street young motor miss.
GIRLY
Someone’s been drinking.
NANCE
I will fucking kill you. I’ll suck your breath right out like a cat.
GIRLY
Mom?
NANCE
I should concentrate on the road.
GIRLY
Hey mom?
NANCE
Yes, hey, you don’t need to keep asking my name, right?
GIRLY
I’m sort of locked out too.
NANCE
What?
GIRLY
I’m also sort of locked out of the apartment and I need to get some new clothes on.
NANCE
Where’d you put your keys?
GIRLY
I don’t know I lost them or something.
NANCE
I can’t come and get you.
GIRLY
I’m locked out.
NANCE
I can’t come get you right now.
GIRLY
Where am I gonna go?
NANCE
Mommy is really busy right now and what the fuck is this?
Nance has picked up a badly-damaged dummy off the street.
She regards it.
GIRLY
Just swing by the house, okay?
NANCE
I’m telling you that’s impossible right now. I don’t want to go to the house. I don’t like being in the house, okay? You should have brought your keys with you or not lost them or whatever you did with them.
GIRLY
I guess I could check the bus stop.
NANCE
Fine. All right? Try to find your keys but if you can’t then call me and I’ll open you up.
GIRLY
You promise to / come get me?
NANCE
/ Yes, Girly, yes, I promise.
15.
Cash Machine.
JAKOB
Excuse me there is a line.
JAKE
Oh you waiting?
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
Like the ATM?
JAKOB
Yes I am waiting.
JAKE
Cool. I’m waiting too. I gotta get money for the train to kill off some things Upstate.
JAKOB
…
JAKE
You’re that guy from the store.
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
How’s it going?
JAKOB
It is going fine.
JAKE
That’s so funny man to run into you.
JAKOB
Yes.
JAKE
We like pull money from this hole together. Jake.
JAKOB
Hello Jake.
JAKE
What’s your name man?
JAKOB
I am Jakob.
JAKE
Nice name.
JAKOB
...
JAKE
So how’s she doing?
JAKOB
Who?
JAKE
Your wife.
JAKOB
She is fine.
JAKE
She like the kitty?
JAKOB
Hmn?
JAKE
The cat. Did she say anything about that cat?
JAKOB
… No.
JAKE
She watched my cat while I … I was gone and stuff?
JAKOB
My wife entered your house.
JAKE
People like staying at my place. She likes my place. She really liked it. She really liked the cat. I could tell. People like him. Do you love her?
JAKOB
…
JAKE
Do you like love her all the time, Jakob? Someone should love her all the time. I think someone should give her all his love all the time.
JAKOB
It’s your turn, Jake.
JAKE
No, you were first.
JAKOB
Please go ahead of me.
JAKE
Thanks.
JAKOB
You are welcome.
16.
An alley.
Jakob walking past Girly.
GIRLY
(eating donut) Yo mister.
JAKOB
Yes?
GIRLY
You got some dimes for a girl?
JAKOB
No, I don’t have anything.
GIRLY
I can hear you jingling so you can be straight and say you don’t wanna.
JAKOB
Fine. I don’t want to give you my money.
GIRLY
You don’t need to be mean about it.
JAKOB
Was I mean?
GIRLY
Yeah, you had this tone about it.
JAKOB
I’m sorry.
GIRLY
It’s no big thing, you can just say no and walk on.
JAKOB
Okay.
GIRLY
Yeah, I think we’re done so you can take that walk now.
JAKOB
I actually need to wait in this alley.
GIRLY
You sure about that?
JAKOB
Yes.
GIRLY
Cause I can tell a guy’s tone and this guy’s tone says he’s not so sure he needs to be waiting in this alley.
JAKOB
Who are you talking to?
GIRLY
I’m just talking. Nothing to it.
JAKOB
…
JAKOB
Glazed.
GIRLY
Mmm?
JAKOB
I’m noticing your kind of donut.
GIRLY
…
JAKOB
…
GIRLY
This is my house, you know.
JAKOB
Really.
GIRLY
Not the whole building but like further up through the bricks and shit is where I live.
JAKOB
I see.
GIRLY
That’d be pretty cool to live in the whole building though.
JAKOB
Yes.
GIRLY
Why you staring there?
JAKOB
Staring – Was I staring at anything?
GIRLY
Training on my legs.
JAKOB
I’m sorry, I –
GIRLY
You’re like fifty you old man.
JAKOB
I’m in my thirties.
GIRLY
Ain’t no thirty year old man got a beard like that.
JAKOB
I’m different.
GIRLY
Yeah, you got Different painted all over you.
JAKOB
You wouldn’t understand if I told you.
GIRLY
What you think I’m stupid or something?
JAKOB
No. Not stupid.
GIRLY
…
JAKOB
Do you know any stories?
GIRLY
Yeah I know a couple.
JAKOB
Could you tell me stories if I asked you to?
GIRLY
Yeah I might be able to do that.
JAKOB
Do you know the cost of a hot meal?
GIRLY
You could get one of those around fifty.
JAKOB
That’s very low.
GIRLY
Then a hundred.
JAKOB
You’ve never done this.
GIRLY
…
JAKOB
You should ask for two hundred. I’ll say one. We’ll settle somewhere in between.
GIRLY
Why you telling me this?
JAKOB
It’s good business.
GIRLY
Well, I ain’t mad at that.
JAKOB
…
GIRLY
Two hundred.
JAKOB
One.
GIRLY
One fifty.
JAKOB
Done.
GIRLY
Drive a hard bargain.
JAKOB
Shut up and get in my mini-van.
17.
Jake’s apartment.
RUTH
(coughs)
NANCE
You finished your drink?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
This medication is intense. I got it from this guy’s bathroom when I was in like, Albany. What do they call that river next to it? The Majestic? Funny naming a river. You plop down with your tri-cornered hat and declare it. The Majestic. It is rather majestic. Is that its name? You’re no help. You’ve never seen water, have you? Probably never even seen a seagull, right?
RUTH
We have seagulls.
NANCE
All I see is crows. You take the train up. There’s a castle along the way. You look at this crumbling castle on an island in the middle of a river. Sitting alone on an island in the middle of this fucking river. Charleston River? Harriston? I mean, you think I’d know the names of the surrounding water bodies. I bet it was beautiful once. I bet people took care of the castle in the middle of the river but like I don’t know why you’d need a castle in the middle of a river. Especially in this part of the country. I will go insane if I don’t remember the name of that shitty river. Where’d you put that shit I had?
RUTH
I think we drank it.
NANCE
Aw, fuck a man alive. There’s always booze and there’s always running out.
RUTH
Hey.
NANCE
What do you want, baldie?
Ruth holds Nance’s hand.
NANCE
You have my hand.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
You’re holding it like through the barrier of time you’ve got my hand.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
I may not be making such sense here because these drugs are kicking my ass in.
RUTH
It’s okay.
NANCE
I’ll rest my head against your fake shoulder.
A moment.
NANCE
S’nice.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
I can hear your breathing.
RUTH
…
NANCE
Have you seen the cat?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
The thing’s probably dead, right? I haven’t fed the thing and oh look his bowl is full. You filled his bowl.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
I really don’t see him anywhere.
RUTH
No.
Nance pulls out the badly damaged dummy.
NANCE
Hey, look at this. I found this on the street. A real bargain. Someone just threw this dummy on the street. Can you believe it?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
This must be a hundred bucks.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
Look at his little glasses. He’s really cute.
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
He’s got your eyes.
RUTH
… No.
NANCE
Your eyes the same color’s the dummy.
Nance waves the dummy’s hand.
NANCE
He’s waving at you. (dummy voice) Hello.
RUTH
Hello.
NANCE
(voice) How are you doing?
RUTH
I’m fine.
NANCE
(voice) What did you do today?
RUTH
I went to the store. But I didn’t buy anything. I forgot to bring my wallet. I forgot to bring my purse. I didn’t bring anything with me.
NANCE
(voice) That sounds interesting.
RUTH
Yes, it was very interesting.
NANCE
(voice) You look a little sad.
RUTH
Yes, I’m a little sad.
NANCE
(voice) What’s got you down, Miss Greenjeans?
RUTH
I don’t know.
NANCE
(voice) Well of course you do. Somewhere in your noggin, right?
RUTH
Yes.
NANCE
(voice) Logged in your nogg for safe keeping?
RUTH
When it rained earlier.
NANCE
(voice) Yes?
RUTH
It rained, I knew it was raining. I didn’t bring my umbrella. I knew it would rain and I left my umbrella at home. I went to the bank. I took the stroller. I took the stroller with me to the bank.
NANCE
(voice) Go on.
RUTH
I can’t get it wet. I can’t get my hair wet. Water ruins my hair. But it’s raining. And I think I should protect my head. I should cover it before it ruins. But I don’t do anything. I walk down the sidewalk. A drop rolls between my eyes and over my nose. It slips into my mouth. And I forget. I forget that the rain isn’t good. It’s not a good thing to drink. The water’s bad. It’s why you never swim. I never swim. I think about it sometimes. I think about swimming. Swimming might feel very nice. But it’s always too cold. Then all these other things. You’re in a room by yourself. No one’s there. But something’s coming, you can feel something coming. There might be a man on the other side of the door. You might know him. Or you’re on the street. There’s your footsteps then another set of footsteps. No one can explain it but you might know him. You might know that person. And I sort of hope someone’s there. I sort of hope someone’s following me. Someone walking with me. Because sometimes I just walk besides people and pretend I’m in love with them. I pretend I’m walking next to a person who just loves me. We’re strolling together because that’s what you do when you’re in love. It’s a comfort. I was a child once. I know what it’s like. That feeling. Someone cares about you. Like a pressure on your chest. Like a pressure on your heart. I can’t describe it. Do you know what I’m saying?
NANCE
(nods dummy yes)
RUTH
I forget what it’s like.
NANCE
(voice) You know what’d make you feel better?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
(voice) Hold me.
RUTH
… No.
NANCE
(voice) Hold me.
RUTH
…
NANCE
Hold me.
RUTH
Just a moment.
NANCE
Here you are.
RUTH
There.
NANCE
So nice …
RUTH
Yes.
18.
A bus stop
Rain.
Night.
One street lamp.
Jake sitting alone.
Cat container next to him.
On phone:
JAKE
This is Jakey.
I don’t know who’s gonna get this.
Someone’s going to get it.
So hello whoever this is.
I hope it’s not mom.
Mom, I hope it’s not you don’t send this to my mom if you get this.
I’m not coming back.
I’m leaving and I’m not going back to my house.
I’ve been going away for a while now.
I lost my job and I’ve been just wandering around for the last few months.
Just take the train and get off somewhere and wander around.
Sleep in the forest.
I don’t really know what to do anymore.
I keep having these dreams about nuclear wastelands.
Not like dramatic or anything.
The world transformed into a nuclear wasteland.
But the funny thing was it didn’t kill anyone.
Everyone was still alive.
They just lived in this wasteland.
I pushed this cart around selling everyone water.
We were happy, more or less.
I don’t remember being unhappy in the wasteland.
So I think I’ve reached my recording limit.
Keep my answering machine as evidence.
I give all my belongings to you mom.
I love you.
19.
Parked Minivan.
GIRLY
Where are we?
JAKOB
I come sit here sometimes.
GIRLY
What is that like a field?
JAKOB
Yes. And there are woods up in the distance.
GIRLY
We are really in the middle of nowhere.
JAKOB
Yes, isn’t it nice?
GIRLY
I guess.
JAKOB
Do you want to listen to the radio?
GIRLY
Naw it’s okay.
JAKOB
I have all the channels. I can play all the channels.
GIRLY
That’s okay.
JAKOB
Would you like something to drink? I have bottles of water or mini liquor bottles.
GIRLY
Why do you come up here?
JAKOB
I like it here.
GIRLY
But why really?
JAKOB
I get sick of the buildings.
GIRLY
Yeah?
JAKOB
Yes, sometimes it is nice to not look at a building.
Jakob turns on radio.
It is something odd and foreign.
GIRLY
What’s that?
JAKOB
I think it is public radio. Do you like it or should I change it?
GIRLY
No, it’s okay.
JAKOB
…
GIRLY
…
JAKOB
Hey I am not scary.
GIRLY
I know.
JAKOB
You can look at me if you want.
GIRLY
It’s not that it’s my own thing.
JAKOB
I understand that.
GIRLY
I’m just a little shy I guess.
JAKOB
Look at me.
She does.
JAKOB
You have very nice eyes. Did anyone tell you that?
GIRLY
My mom says it but she’s like my mom.
JAKOB
Yes, she is partial to complimenting you. I have no vested interest in impressing you so my opinion is more valid.
GIRLY
Take off your hat.
JAKOB
What?
GIRLY
We’re inside so you can take off your hat.
JAKOB
Okay.
GIRLY
Your head looks funny.
JAKOB
It is my head.
GIRLY
I don’t mean that it’s just … not what I expected it to look like?
JAKOB
What did you expect?
GIRLY
I don’t know.
JAKOB
I did not expect you to be like this either.
GIRLY
What am I like?
JAKOB
You are a person.
GIRLY
You better believe I’m a person mister.
JAKOB
No I mean, it is a pleasant surprise.
GIRLY
Sure.
JAKOB
I have never spoken to a woman like you before.
GIRLY
Really?
JAKOB
It is not something I ever needed to do. You are the first woman like you I have ever spoken to.
GIRLY
Ain’t really no woman yet.
JAKOB
You speak like a woman. Your body is just waiting to catch up.
GIRLY
Take off your glasses.
JAKOB
Hmn?
GIRLY
Take off your glasses I wanna see your eyes.
He does.
GIRLY
I was wrong about you.
JAKOB
Yes?
GIRLY
Yeah you’re kind of cute.
JAKOB
Oh yes?
GIRLY
I mean there’s all these layers and we still got your beard but yeah, I like your lips.
JAKOB
My lips?
GIRLY
Got to pick something to like, right?
JAKOB
Yes I suppose so.
GIRLY
…
JAKOB
I have a wife.
GIRLY
Yeah I figured that.
JAKOB
She is not able to have children anymore.
GIRLY
Uh huh.
JAKOB
She does not like to be with me physically.
GIRLY
Yeah okay I’m not a shrink or anything.
JAKOB
I thought I would explain my reasons.
GIRLY
For what?
JAKOB
Bringing you here.
GIRLY
I don’t know that you need to explain anything.
JAKOB
I hate speaking to people. I do not like people. I often imagine myself very happy in a world without anyone.
GIRLY
Yeah?
JAKOB
Yes, ever since my son died for no reason before we had a chance to name him I have not liked being around people.
GIRLY
That can fuck a day up.
JAKOB
Yes.
GIRLY
…
JAKOB
Here’s some money.
GIRLY
Thanks.
JAKOB
I want you to pretend like I am raping you. But. Won’t actually be raping you. I am going to fake-rape you. You should act like you are being raped but I promise to not actually rape you. I will not feel good if I accidentally rape you on purpose. Do you see where I am coming from?
GIRLY
I can see it.
JAKOB
Are you all right with this?
GIRLY
Yeah why not?
JAKOB
It will be fake.
GIRLY
Don’t got nowhere else to be.
JAKOB
…
GIRLY
So Christmas, right?
JAKOB
…
GIRLY
I used to drink egg nog? Like this fancy place I got in my mind and my mom and I drank egg nog out of like China. But I might as well have not been there. I got nothing to show. No evidence or nothing, my past just gone, right? Like me speaking at you now. Some other things will happen and I’ll like eat meals and shit and this shit will fade. You and me and this shit will fade.
He punches her sharply in the nose.
A thick torrent of blood pours down Girly’s face.
She is incredibly calm:
GIRLY
Yeah, that’s cool.
JAKOB
This is the game.
GIRLY
Okay.
JAKOB
Tell me to stop.
GIRLY
Fine, uh …
JAKOB
Tell me not to.
GIRLY
“Please don’t rape me.”
JAKOB
Don’t what?
GIRLY
“Please don’t rape me.”
JAKOB
I’m not stopping.
GIRLY
“Help me.”
JAKOB
No one will help you.
GIRLY
Please don’t.
JAKOB
No one cares about you.
GIRLY
Please no.
JAKOB
No one cares.
GIRLY
No!
Jakob chokes her.
This takes as long as it needs to.
As she loses consciousness, the lights slowly fade to complete and total darkness.
Then:
20.
Total darkness.
VOICE
Over here.
GIRLY
Who’s that?
VOICE
It’s me.
GIRLY
Where are you?
VOICE
I’m over here.
GIRLY
I can’t see anything.
VOICE
Come on over.
GIRLY
How do I get there?
VOICE
Just listen to my voice.
GIRLY
I’m coming.
VOICE
Just a little further.
GIRLY
Here I am.
VOICE
There you are.
GIRLY
Hello.
Light on Girly’s face.
VOICE
Hello.
GIRLY
Hey.
VOICE
Your hair is in your face.
GIRLY
Oh, sorry.
VOICE
That’s better.
GIRLY
You got anything for a girl?
VOICE
Yes.
GIRLY
Like a drink or something?
VOICE
I have this water.
GIRLY
Yeah, I’ll take that.
Girly takes glass of water.
(There is no other hand.)
She drinks it in one long sip.
GIRLY
That’s gonna make me pee.
VOICE
You’ll be fine. Here’s a handkerchief.
GIRLY
For what?
VOICE
There’s something on your face.
GIRLY
Thank you.
VOICE
You’re welcome.
GIRLY
I’m pretty tired can I fall asleep somewhere?
VOICE
Don’t fall asleep.
GIRLY
I’m gonna go to sleep.
VOICE
You don’t want to do that.
GIRLY
I don’t feel so good.
VOICE
You look fine.
GIRLY
Something’s happening.
VOICE
You look beautiful.
GIRLY
Someone’s doing something.
VOICE
You’re just here with me.
GIRLY
I’m just here.
VOICE
You’re safe.
GIRLY
I’m safe.
VOICE
I’ve got you.
GIRLY
I see you.
VOICE
You’re mine now.
GIRLY
I can see you.
VOICE
…
GIRLY
Hi dad.
21.
The forest.
Pitch night.
A running brook.
Girly lies motionless on the forest floor.
Jake standing over Girly.
He holds cat carrying case.
JAKE
Hey. Little girl.
GIRLY
Mm.
JAKE
Wake up.
GIRLY
Who’re –
JAKE
Here I’ll help you to your feet.
GIRLY
Naw naw I’m … good.
JAKE
I was just walking out here and I saw you. I live in the city.
GIRLY
Oh yeah so do I.
JAKE
Well that’s lucky you can come with me.
GIRLY
…
JAKE
How are you?
GIRLY
I feel like my fuckin leg is broke but I can like walk or hobble.
JAKE
What happened?
GIRLY
What – What’re you doing here?
JAKE
What do you mean?
GIRLY
Who are you?
JAKE
I’m just a guy.
GIRLY
What are you doing here in the woods man?
JAKE
I just am … doing this. It’s just where I come.
GIRLY
motioning to carrying case
Yeah what’s that?
JAKE
Oh that’s my cat.
GIRLY
Kinda quiet.
JAKE
He usually has a sitter. I’m not supposed to take him out. I was going to release him in the wild but I gave him kitty morphine for the trip. It really knocked him out. I’m really lonely. My heart is broken. She’s making me do this. I think he’s dead. I think I fed him too much morphine.
GIRLY
Well like, check his breathing?
JAKE
I’m afraid to look in there.
GIRLY
Well you’re never gonna know unless you look.
JAKE
How about you look?
GIRLY
I don’t want to tell you your cat’s dead
JAKE
Then he’ll be alive and dead at the same time.
GIRLY
Hey I should –
JAKE
Do you want to see something?
GIRLY
I was just with someone. I got in a car. A van.
JAKE
I feel compelled to show you the extension of my hand.
GIRLY
Hmn?
JAKE
I feel compelled to show you my extension.
GIRLY
What extension?
JAKE
Let me give you a good hug.
He suddenly does.
GIRLY
Oh that.
Jake breathes her in deep, sighs.
JAKE
Oh that’s good. That’s really nice.
He slowly lowers her to the ground.
Sets her down gently.
As he straightens, he pulls a knife from Girly’s body.
Jake looks down: Girly is motionless.
He looks at the knife in his hands as if it were magic.
22.
Cemetery.
RUTH
Hello.
…
I’ve been gone.
…
I brought this for you.
(lays down Dummy)
I don’t really know why.
Thought you might like it.
It’s really all I’ve got.
To give you.
Prop him up.
There.
He looks nice.
…
They mowed.
It looks very nice.
Very clean.
…
I knitted this sweater for myself.
I have a job.
I watch a kitten.
I like it.
I like having a place to go.
I do stuff there.
I really like it.
…
(She pulls out bottle, drinks.)
A funny story.
A strange story.
I’ve been waking up.
There’s a little kick.
A little bit of you.
And I think, Oh God.
He’s there.
But you’re not there.
I’m happy you’re not there.
…
I bought a ticket.
With my job money.
I bought this train ticket.
I’m going away.
And I’m not coming back.
I thought you might want to know that.
…
I’m not the person I thought.
…
(low, different tone) What am I d – ?
…
Goodbye.
23.
Jakob’s apartment.
Dark.
Jakob sits in the middle of the room.
He wears boxers short and a tee shirt.
No hat, no glasses.
Ruth comes in with bags.
RUTH
You’re sitting in the dark.
JAKOB
I’m praying.
Ruth clicks on light.
RUTH
Where did you get those clothes?
JAKOB
They were in my van. My real clothes were muddy.
RUTH
Muddy?
JAKOB
I have been walking through the forest tonight.
RUTH
You have cuts on your arm.
JAKOB
I don’t think God wants us to be together.
RUTH
No.
JAKOB
He would have done something already.
RUTH
…
JAKOB
I feel like doing something. Do you mind if I do something to you?
RUTH
Go ahead.
Jakob removes her wig, carefully.
Then, he animates it like a dog:
JAKOB
Arf! Arf! Arf!
RUTH
What are you doing?
JAKOB
He’s your puppy.
RUTH
No.
JAKOB
Name him.
RUTH
I don’t want to do that.
JAKOB
Give your puppy a name.
RUTH
You do it.
JAKOB
Jake?
RUTH
…
JAKOB
Do you know someone named Jake?
RUTH
Why?
JAKOB
Because I have acted upon knowledge of you knowing a man named Jake.
RUTH
What have you done?
JAKOB
I only did what’s been done to me.
RUTH
Jake is a man I have been fucking.
JAKOB
…
RUTH
Okay?
JAKOB
Yes.
RUTH
Should I leave?
JAKOB
…
RUTH
Should I leave now? Have you had enough? You have to tell me to leave because otherwise I will stay.
JAKOB
You should go.
RUTH
Thank you.
JAKOB
Do you need anything?
RUTH
No I have money.
JAKOB
Do you need some clothes?
RUTH
No I don’t need anything more from you.
JAKOB
…
RUTH
What will you do?
JAKOB
I think I will wait.
RUTH
For what?
JAKOB
Who could know.
24.
Cop car.
Cop in front.
Jake in back.
JAKE
Did you find my cat? He would have been in a blue container –
COP
Sir, what were you doing in the forest?
JAKE
I wasn’t doing anything.
COP
Some children saw you by their back fence and as an officer of this neighborhood I’d love to know why.
JAKE
I don’t really have to tell you.
COP
No, you have to tell me.
JAKE
No, I’d rather not and I’ve got rights.
COP
No, actually, you don’t.
JAKE
I studied this in school and I think I have rights.
COP
There’s nothing written that says I have to help you.
JAKE
Yeah?
COP
I’ve read the policies of this nation. I don’t even have to take you anywhere. We can just sit in this car until the sun comes up. I have endurance. Think you can sit on your hands til morning? It must hurt already. We can go get donuts. You probably think I eat donuts. I don’t. I have a fairly good diet so when we have breakfast we’re going to some place to get a salad. If you can pick up the fork. Do you see what I’m saying? There’s rewards. So I’d really love to know what you were doing lurking outside these houses.
JAKE
I don’t know.
COP
You had items on you that say otherwise.
JAKE
Those didn’t mean anything.
COP
A steak knife.
JAKE
Yeah, that wasn’t anything.
COP
A steak knife in your pocket.
JAKE
I’ve just been coming out here with that steak knife. It’s really no big thing and I don’t know why you’re persecuting me.
COP
Did you hurt people?
JAKE
No, no I just – It’s really hard…
COP
There was blood man.
JAKE
Yeah, I don’t know what you want with, I can’t really tell –
COP
Hey I won’t tell anyone.
JAKE
No?
COP
It’s between you and me. Promise.
JAKE
I don’t know …
COP
Come on, big guy.
JAKE
This is, this is weird … like … like this knife?
COP
Mmm hmn?
JAKE
I totally wasn’t going to use it but lately I keep opening the drawer and there it is, wrapped in that towel. And every now and then take it out. Look at it. And every now and then take it out and carry it in your pocket. Just to see what it feels like. You’re a different person when you’ve got a knife in your pocket. Not better, just … different. Fingering the handle while people speak about whatever they’re speaking about. So I’ve been walking around the suburbs. Saying hello to children. Saying hello to whoever’s pushing the stroller. Real interactions with people. And I feel normal here. I’ve been hiding in the forest. I got the disease in the forest. And I think I might kill myself here, I’ve been thinking about killing myself for lurking around these forests. It’s a perfectly good thing to kill yourself about. What am I doing here? Look at all these trees, these black trees –
COP
Are you crying?
JAKE
…
COP
I don’t have any napkins.
JAKE
That’s okay.
COP
I think we should go somewhere together.
JAKE
Yeah?
COP
Just spend the night with us if that’s okay.
JAKE
Is it somewhere safe?
COP
Yeah, it’s real safe.
JAKE
Because that’s what I’ve been looking for, really. Just somewhere safe.
COP
Well, let’s get you there, all right?
JAKE
Yeah.
COP
All right we’ll be there soon.
JAKE
And my cat?
COP
Who?
JAKE
Did you find my cat?
COP
Yeah we found him.
JAKE
Is he okay?
COP
Yeah some guys got him at the station.
JAKE
Yeah?
COP
Yellow guy with white boots?
JAKE
Yeah that’s him.
COP
The guys at the station fed him some milk.
JAKE
Oh he’s on a diet he can’t have milk.
COP
No?
JAKE
He’s lactose intolerant.
COP
You really care about him, don’t you?
JAKE
He’s the only person I love.
25.
A train.
Night.
Thundering train.
Nance and Ruth, side by side.
Ruth sleeping.
She is dressed in street clothes.
NANCE
Ruth?
Ruth?
Wake up.
The castle.
You can see the castle out there.
See the outline?
Right outside the window here?
Awh, look at her.
So majestic.
So dark.
Too bad they don’t have lights on it.
Some spotlights or something.
Ruth?
I know you’re awake you don’t need to fake it.
Big faker.
You look like a troll when you sleep.
I’m ‘onna lick your face.
RUTH
Don’t.
NANCE
I’m hungry.
Ooh, let’s go to the snack cart.
I love the little boxes they come in.
Chips get their own little part.
Hot dog.
Cola.
Snack-sized wines.
Do you have some money?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
Just give me a fiver.
RUTH
No.
NANCE
I’ll tickle you for it.
RUTH
No.
NANCE
Okay I won’t tickle you.
RUTH
I’m sleeping.
NANCE
Yeah, gotta bone up on your beauty. Hey look a twenty. Wow. Just in my jacket just then. Like a jackpot.
Cell rings.
NANCE
(on phone)
Hello?
Hey there.
Hey I can’t hear you.
Is that you, Girly?
Hey, speak up.
…
Okay I’m hanging up.
(clicks off, redials, then to Ruth)
You want anything?
Pretzels or something?
RUTH
No.
NANCE
(on phone) Hey, if it’s you trying to call I can’t hear a thing. Reception’s fucked here but like mummy’s gone out for a spell. Call back, okay? (hangs up, to Ruth:) Be right back doll.
Nance kisses Ruth on cheek, exits up aisle.
Cell rings.
After a moment’s hesitation,
Ruth picks up.
RUTH
Hello?
It is Girly.
No phone, she simply speaks:
GIRLY
Hey there.
RUTH
Who’s this?
GIRLY
…
RUTH
Hello?
GIRLY
I think I suppose to talk to someone.
RUTH
You’re talking to me.
GIRLY
Yeah but like someone else.
RUTH
I’m the only one here right now.
GIRLY
Ah man.
RUTH
Is something the matter?
GIRLY
(sings incredibly slow)
Don’t want to end up
Gray suit covered cat hair suit
Cats and / kittens –
RUTH
/ Do you … do you need help?
GIRLY
Maybe I might.
RUTH
You don’t sound well.
GIRLY
I’m not well.
RUTH
What’s wrong?
GIRLY
You can set the phone down.
RUTH
What?
GIRLY
You don’t need the phone.
Ruth sets it down.
RUTH
Who is this?
GIRLY
I don’t know.
RUTH
What’s wrong with you dear?
GIRLY
I used to have this headache but it went away. Not a headache but like a sound. Or these noises, this noise? Do you hear it? Can you hear it? Can you help me? I know you’ll go away some day but for now we could sleep together sleep in bed together. Would you like that? Would you like it even though you can’t really ever count on someone to be there ever because we all die and leave each other alone to die by ourselves and die ourselves and leave everyone we love to die alone?
RUTH
I’m so afraid.
GIRLY
You sound like a good person.
RUTH
Do I?
GIRLY
At least your voice.
RUTH
…
GIRLY
Am I gonna see you?
RUTH
I …
GIRLY
Can I come and see you?
RUTH
I don’t know.
GIRLY
I’ll just stay for a little.
RUTH
Okay.
GIRLY
Just stay with you a little.
RUTH
I’ll make you food.
GIRLY
Like what?
RUTH
I don’t know.
GIRLY
I’m cool with whatever.
RUTH
I’m happy you’re coming. It will be very nice to have company.
GIRLY
I like company.
RUTH
Me too.
GIRLY
I’ll be there soon.
RUTH
Oh, don’t –
GIRLY
Hm?
RUTH
Don’t go.
GIRLY
… Okay.
RUTH
Not yet.
GIRLY
Okay.
RUTH
Just wait.
GIRLY
Like, wait?
RUTH
Just … listen.
GIRLY
Like, listen?
RUTH
Let’s just listen.
GIRLY
Okay.
RUTH
Just for a moment. Listen to each other.
They listen to one another.
The train thunders on.
Lights slowly fade.
End of Play.
––
© Copyright 2023. Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All persons inquiring about rights should send a message via this link. All rights to this play – including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading, online, print and translation into foreign languages – are controlled by the author without whose permission no performance, reading, publication or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given. These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention
cover art: Judah Stevenson